SEC Pigskin Picks Thanksgiving Predictions

Aight, Slackers, I’m mailing in this week’s SEC Pigskin Picks. Chely is away on a turkey hunt/turkey rescue adventure vacation (don’t ask). And, the Perfesser is climbing Mt. Everest. I’m in Panama City Beach with Mrs. Coach Billy Jack Hoover.

It’s rivalry week. And, here are this week’s games, with the guaranteed winners.

Missouri vs. Arkansas. Missouri is pitiful. If we were on the air, I would make some kind of joke calling them misery, and you would laugh. Arkansas in a blowout.

Clemson vs. South Carolina. The top-ranked Tigers only have bragging rights to play for, and a win could salvage a horrible season for South Carolina. I wonder if Spurrier had this game circled when he got out of Dodge earlier in the season? Probably. Clemson in a rout.

Georgia vs. Georgia Tech. The bottom line is, a win probably saves Mark Richt’s job, and a loss probably dooms him. I say the Dawgs pull off a squeaker.

Louisville vs. Kentucky. The SEC East has been the media’s whipping boy all year, and with good reason. Kentucky also has an anemic offense, which takes the focus off of their similarly anemic defense. Louisville wins.

Alabama vs. Auburn. Alabama is on the way to their next National Championship, and Auburn has struggled this year. What a perfect script for an upset. Not gonna happen.

Vanderbilt vs. Tennessee. The Vols are a surprising 17 point favorite against the hated Commodores. I don’t see them covering the spread, but Dobbs and Co., will get it done in Knoxville.

Ole Miss vs. Mississippi State. Upset alert. Ole Miss goes down in the Egg Bowl. You heard it here first.

Florida State vs. Florida. Upset alert No. 2. Florida loses.

Texas A&M vs. LSU. The Tigers help the Mad Hatter keep his job another year.

If you’re still reading, thanks. And thanks to you all for listening to us for the past 4 years. Happy Thanksgiving.

For the perfesser and Chely, this is Coach Billy Jack Hoover. Now, give me 20, slackers.

SEC Pigskin Picks 11-19: “Coach Gets Bad News” Featured game: UT-Missouri

Coach Billy Jack learns he is being stripped of his state record for the 110 meter hurdles, and you’ll never guess who benefits from this. Meanwhile, Chely visits the Gateway Arch on her way to the Tennessee-Missouri game. Naturally, she has a small issue.

SEC Pigskin Picks 11-12: “Opryland USA,” Featured game: Vandy-Kentucky

Chely is all excited about going to Opryland USA during her visit to the Vandy-Kentucky game. There’s only one problem, as she quickly realizes.

SEC Pigskin Picks 11-5: “Sorry, Robert Frost” Featured game: LSU-Bama

Coach writes a poem to try and apologize to the listeners because the picks have been so terrible this year. Meanwhile, Chely serves on a jury until she find out she may miss the Slobber Knocker Game of the Week, Alabama and LSU.

SEC Pigskin Picks 10-29: “Halloween Hi-jinks” UT-Kentucky, UGA-Florida

Coach Billy Jack reveals he is a master at winning Halloween contests. You will not believe who he dressed up as once! Chely, meanwhile, tackles childhood obesity as only she can by pledging to give away healthy treats. Featured games, Tennessee-Kentucky and Georgia-Florida.

SEC Pigskin Picks 10-22: “Chely the Cable Guy,” UT-Bama

In this week’s episode, Professor Sinclair introduces Coach Billy Jack to Pumpkin Spice Latte; and, Chely helps a cable installer in distress. Featured game, Tennessee-Alabama.

SEC Pigskin Picks 10/15: “Chely, Phil and Uncle Si”

Coach Billy Jack teaches Professor Sinclair how to figure percentages in a way only he can. And, Chely has a run-in with the Duck Dynasty boys. Featured games: Texas A&M-Alabama and LSU-Florida.

SEC Pigskin Picks 10-8: “Calling Erin Andrews”

When coach announces his retirement, Professor Sinclair calls up an unlikely replacement. Featured games: Alabama-Arkansas, LSU-South Carolina.

SEC Pigskin Picks 10-1: “Butch, What Were You Thinking?”

Chely finds herself duct taped to a chair but still manages to talk about Bama-Georgia. Meanwhile, Coach Billy Jack and Professor Sinclair unanimously give this week’s “What Were You Thinking” award to Butch Jones following the Florida game and talk about Tennessee’s upcoming game with Arkansas.

SEC Pigskin Picks 9-24: “Professor’s Magic Coin”

Professor Sinclair sells Coach his magic football-picking coin while Chely gets a caffeine buzz and paints the whole coffee shop. Featured games, Tennessee-Florida and LSU-Syracuse

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