Never Let a Skinny Baptist Bless the Food

dam thoughts, barry currin, beaverdamusa.comSoutherners hate each other’s football teams, despise political opponents and will come to blows over what F-O-R-D really stands for.

But despite our passionate differences, there is one place where we can all find common ground: the covered dish meal. You may call this blissful occurrence dinner on the ground or a potluck supper, but it’s still the same. Though most commonly associated with church, the covered dish meal can happen in lots of places. I seem to gravitate to groups that put on such delightful events.

I ask you to visualize four folding tables sagging under the bounty of fried chicken, barbecue, baked beans, potato salad, banana pudding, etc., etc. The perfect marriage of savory and sweet smells, the steam rising from the Corning Ware dishes with the blue flower pattern, and the condensation trailing down the sweet tea pitcher all work in harmony to create a sensory treat. And it is obviously a divine event, because somehow, those flimsy paper plates rarely ever fail, even when cousin Bubba’s leaning tower of food defies all the laws of physics.

And as it should be, no covered dish meal has ever started in the history of the South without the food first being blessed. It is a truly special ritual we should never take for granted. Over the years, I have learned one thing about the blessing, though:

Never let a skinny Baptist bless the food.

I say this for two reasons. First, I want somebody blessing my food who looks like he has been to more covered dish meals than I have. I want to see some girth on the man (because it’s always a man) who is in charge of firing the starting gun. That way I know he means business. Second, any Baptist will tell you they can be long-winded. I have lots of Baptist friends, and I have yet to see one at Olive Garden before 12:30 on a Sunday. They will tell you the same thing.

Read last week’s Dam Thoughts:
“Watching ‘Those People’ at the Beach”

I can almost hear the salmonella cheering when the person blessing the food gets about 3 minutes into the prayer and says something like, “As Paul wrote in his first letter to the Corinthians…”  Meanwhile, Aunt Effie’s banana pudding is flirting with room temperature, and that mystery film has begun to form on top of the green bean juice.  Before a NSACAR race, the guy simply says “Gentlemen, start your engines.” He doesn’t start out with, “I remember my first trip to Talladega…”

I’ve always been a “God is great, God is good” kind of guy.

God is great, God is good

Let us thank Him for our food. Amen

I’ve done just a few public blessings in my day, and I did do better than “God is Great,” but, I tried to keep it reasonable. And, God must have been pleased because my flimsy paper plate defied all the laws of physics as usual.

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About Barry Currin

Barry tries to be funny and poignant, and he's usually satisfied when he succeeds with one or the other. (Being both is awesome. And sometimes that happens.) Email him: currin01@gmail.com

Comments

  1. Mike Owens says:

    Barry, I don’t comment on all your columns, but this one really hit home with me. I can remember as a small child thinking that some blessings would never end. My stomach would be growling loud enough for everyone to hear & my salivary glands were in overdrive, the prayer would go on and on.

    Thanks for bringing back precious memories!
    -Mike Owens

    • Thanks, Mr. Owens. The title came before the column, which rarely happens. It was inspired by a recent incident where I thought we were going to have an altar call!

  2. Jody Hooven says:

    Offer thanks for the food and let’s eat! Nobody’s “getting’ saved” over the growling of stomachs and the smell of homemade bread filling the air. We can pray for the missionaries another time. A time and place for everything… and right now… it’s time to eat!

  3. Harriette Marshall Glover says:

    Amen, Brother! I’m sure Bro. Lynn has never purposefully called upon a skinny fella before our Wednesday night family suppers precisely for just this reason….
    Love, love, love it!
    If you are ever in Benton, you need to look up our cousins there…. Jody Rogers works for Massengil Tire Company on 411, if you ever need tires he can hook you up, LOL… I drove all the way up there for the last set of tires I put on the Hummer I had, they were such a good deal :)
    Love the blog!

  4. ZACH CLAYTON says:

    Amen! Have seen many “blessers” get rolling and totally forget to bless the food!! STAY FOCUSED!!

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