The Cat and Dog are Fighting Like…

barry currin, stories of a world gone mad, beaverdamusa.comSuddenly, our cat hates our dog.

This should come as no surprise. MacGyver — that’s the cat — hates everything, with one exception.

For some reason, she usually likes me. I don’t understand why she finds me the most tolerable one in the family.

The rest of my family has never been shy about how they really — and I mean really — don’t understand it either.

While MacGyver never befriended Ginger and MaryAnn, she coexisted with the beagles with rarely an incident for more than 13 years. 

MaryAnn passed earlier this year. Ginger, however, is still pretty spry for her age.

This new drama between MacGyver and Ginger started last week. I called Kim on my way home from a meeting, and she was frantic because MacGyver attacked Ginger without provocation. Kim defused the situation from what I understand, and neither the dog nor the cat suffered any wounds.

I figured it was a one-time thing, fueled by some passing primal force we would never understand and quickly forget.

I figured wrong.

The next time they were allowed to come in contact with each other, MacGyver approached Ginger and hissed. That’s when I hit MacGyver between the eyes with water from a squirt bottle. She reluctantly retreated but gave me the same hiss she had given the dog.

The next day, the same thing happened — only this time, I was holding the garden hose.

I’m not saying I enjoyed it, but she had it coming. She’s the aggressor, and the rest of us are the victims.

Naturally, she learned nothing from it.

I have some theories for her change in behavior.

First off, Ginger is going deaf. She really is; that’s not a joke. We started realizing it a couple of months after MaryAnn’s passing. She doesn’t look when we call her, much less come. Yesterday, a half dozen squirrels were square dancing in the tree above her, and she was oblivious the entire time.

We think MacGyver takes offense when Ginger doesn’t respond to being hissed at with the appropriate amount of fear. Maybe MacGyver either is afraid Ginger has become bold, or it irritates her that Ginger no longer shows the respect a feline of her stature deserves.

I’m betting on the irritation theory, for the record.

Here’s another theory. This one isn’t so pleasant.

Beagles will eat anything.

One morning when Ginger was a puppy, we went out to see her convulsing on the ground. It was a horrifying sight. We took her to the vet and received updates all day on the things they were checking her for.

About 4:55 that afternoon, and after $248,994 worth of missed diagnoses, they decided to X-ray her stomach and found 5 pounds of pea gravel.

In the past decade and a half, she has eaten a smorgasbord of inedible things. I won’t go into detail, but you would be astounded.

The other day, I saw her sniffing around the place near the fence where MacGyver goes to do her business.

I have no reason to believe she’s gone past the sniffing stage, but I think MacGyver smells her own scent on Ginger and fears the dog is turning into a cat.

I know it’s a long shot. I tend to over analyze things, and this is no exception.

I don’t know what is going through their minds, but I do know we need to solve this problem in a hurry.

I’ve even thought about trying to find one of those animal therapists — a pet whisperer.

But, of course, Ginger couldn’t hear, and MacGyver would be too stubborn to listen.

About Barry Currin

Barry tries to be funny and poignant, and he's usually satisfied when he succeeds with one or the other. (Being both is awesome. And sometimes that happens.) Email him:

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