The almost ruckus at The Beaver Dam Roadside Tavern

By Ard Svensen

So, I was sitting on the 2nd stool the other night. I’d just won the Tuesday night trivia contest. Again. Last time I lost was back in the ’80′s – some mailman from Boston was passing through. Kind of a funny looking guy. Cliff was his name I believe. Had a strange attachment to his Ma.


Cliff Clavin reportedly beat Ard Svensen in Beaver Dam trivia in 1986.

Anyhow, I’d just won, and had collected my prize (honestly, how many copies of the Farmers’ Almanac does one man need?), when some fella sat down on the 1st stool. We all froze up, because you don’t sit on the 1st stool. Well, I will some day, if Clephus goes before I do. I was 3rd stool until Eddie retired and moved to Montana, which put Clephus squarely on 1st stool, and me, by the Beaver Dam Tavern Rules of Succession, on 2nd stool.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. This fella sat down on 1st stool. It was 8:30, so Clephus had gone home for dinner and was about 18 minutes away from coming back. 

We didn’t know what would happen.

Time ticked slowly by, as we waited for the sure-to-come ruckus to start.

At 8:36, I ordered another beer. The tension was palpable. The fella (Dave), had ordered an Appletini. Chely was doing relief bartending, and had to use up valuable time looking through her “Fancy Frank’s Bartender’s Guide” so she could figure out how to make one.

Chely put the abomination on the bar at 8:42. We knew we were only 6 minutes away from the ruckus (Clephus is nothing if not punctual).

Dave (The Fella), was busy sorting through the bar nuts and didn’t see his “drink” at first. 

I was starting to sweat. (Follow Ard on twitter.)

At 8:48, in walks Clephus. He stopped and looked at 1st stool. Looked at Dave. Looked at me. Looked back at Dave. Then he slowly walked over to the bar. You could have heard a pin drop.

He took a deep breath, put his mountainous paw on Dave’s shoulder and said “Do you use Grey Goose in your Appletinis?”

Just like that, the crisis was averted – Dave moved down to 3rd stool, and Chely bought a round of ‘tini’s (that’s what we call them now) for the house. (See the actual Grey Goose bottle here.)

’til Next Time,
Ard Svensen
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