Interrogation and Tears at the DMV

Loving the Cubs... and other problems I have Mark Grissom beaverdamusa.comBaseball season started this week. I wish I had better news. I wish I could start off this blog by telling you that my Chicago Cubbies are off to a great start. I wish I could tell you we are in first place and have been having one hit after another and one homer after another. I wish I could.

Only one problem. We are the Cubs. We suck! We have not won a game yet. Thank goodness the Reds are in our division. They have not won either. Oh well. Here we go again!

Enough about the Cubs. Way too early in the season to try and figure out what will happen there!

This past week, I realized my driver’s license had expired. It expired on my 50th birthday, February 9 of 2014. I have been driving, basically without a license to do so for the past couple of months. I was totally unaware of this until I bought a new wallet at the Town Squire Men’s Wear in Cleveland and moved all my “wallet stuff” over into the new billfold.

I was at a “board meeting” with my two best friends in Cleveland, Dr. Jay McCluskey and Wayne Wilhelm, and mentioned to them my license had expired.  Dr. Jay was pretty sure the Driver Services Center in Cleveland was closed on Monday, but I thought I would check anyway. Hey! My lucky day! They were open and I was able to renew my license. (First time in 25 years, of knowing Pastor Jay, that he was ever wrong about anything.)

I was very lucky. I did not have to wait in line. I just happened to go there when there were not a lot of people, and I got right through to the clerk at the counter.

This is where the real story begins.

You would think that renewing your driver’s license would be a pretty simple process. Step up to the counter, pay your money, possibly take a new photo, and leave with that new piece of plastic in your hand.

Not so fast, partner!

I was instructed to go to a kiosk and enter all my information. I had to enter my address, phone, email, date of birth, social security number, voter registration information, credit card number, how many children I have sired and if I have ever committed any sort of crime. I thought I would NEVER finish answering all these questions.

Okay… done with that! Now, back over to the clerk.

She told me to go stand in front of the blue curtain and smile if I wanted to and she would take my picture. I managed to work up somewhat of a smile and the flash went off and I am ready to go!

Now, the interesting part was, during all this process… there was a young lady that came out of the examination room. She had failed her test.

I am sorry. I know I am very cold hearted and callused at times, and I do not show much sympathy. I get that from my father. (I broke my middle finger when I was a kid and he jerked it around a few times and said, “It will be all right, Jack!”)

My finger is still crooked to this very day.

The young lady was crying! She looked over at her mother, who was seated in the waiting section, and shook her head “no” as if to say… you will be bringing me back here in 30 more days!

They made the young lady answer a plethora of questions. And then, in all her tears and runny mascara, they asked her to step in front of the same blue curtain and smile if she wanted to so they could take her picture.

WHAT? Smile? Take her picture? Are you kidding me??

This poor girl just failed her driving test! She just failed a test that will prohibit her from getting behind the wheel of her automobile by herself for at least 30 more days. She will have to tell all of her friends and family that she failed the test… and you want her to take a picture?? Are you KIDDING ME??

And you think she has anything left inside of her frail little body that will conjure up a smile for that photo?? Are you KIDDING ME??

Bless her heart. In all her runny mascara and snotty nose and tears running down her cheeks… she was able to take that photo! Good for her! As far as I am concerned, whoever came up with the rule to make a young child who just failed their driving test have to take a picture… well, you should be fired!

Of course, due to the fact I was driving for two months without a license, I was very lucky that I did not have to take that test!

I would STILL be crying!

Until next time… GO CUBS!!

About Mark Grissom

Mark was born on the north side of Chicago in 1964. Raised a Cubs fan by his dad, he never had a chance in life. He moved to Cleveland, Tennessee, in 1988. While he lives closer to Atlanta now, he will never be able to leave the religion of "Cubbie Nation." Baptized as a Cubs fan at the age of five, he has no choice but to live the remainder of his life here on earth in mediocrity at its best!

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