Dusty’s Oyster Bar in PCB

Dusty's oyster bar pcb beaverdamusa.comAs y’all know, Chely Sizemore is always trying to get uppity with the food at The Beaver Dam. So she decided to go down to Apalachicola, Florida, to pick up some fresh oysters. She said she would be going right through Panama City Beach, and she invited me to ride down. She said she knew a place down there that I would love.

Now, I drive an old Ford truck that we took off the road to use for a chicken house for a few years, but not Chely. She has this big black Dodge 4-wheel-drive, with a Hemi and all the bells and whistles. It sounds like a B-52 bomber when it roars by. When she pulls up, I always ask, “How’s the weather up there?” Get it? That’s pretty funny, I think.

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She drives the dang thing like she stole it. She’s pretty good about talking (or more like “leaning”) her way out of a ticket, so she doesn’t have to worry about that very often. We blew down through all those little Alabama towns on the way to the beach. Got pulled over four times. The first three times she got out of the ticket as usual. The fourth time was a different story, though. Up walked this big woman deputy with a mustache, a cigarette in one hand and ticket book in the other. She had also had onions for lunch. Plenty of them. After a good chewing out, she handed Chely a ticked to the tune of $239. Chely smiled, thanked her and offered her some sweet tea.

“Why were you so nice to that cop, Chely?” I asked.

“Didn’t you see her, coach? She looked like she’d had a horrible day.”

Yes, the world needs more Chely Sizemore’s. But I digress.

By the time we got to Panama City Beach, I was ready for a break, so Chely let me out at a place called Dusty’s Oyster Bar. Dusty’s says it’s the home of “warm beer, lousy food and ugly waitresses.” And that’s just a joke, because ain’t none of it true. Go see for yourself. It’s at 16450 Front Beach Road in PCB. It is a dive, and that’s a compliment coming from me. Dusty’s has plenty of tourist traffic, but it’s also a great place to get a good feel for the local culture. In the summertime, you have to go at off times to get in, but either way, it’s worth the wait.

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The beer at Dusty’s Oyster Bar is cold, and the draft is cheap if you catch happy hour. Of course, it’s an oyster bar, so the raw ones are delicious. You can also get baked oysters on the half shell. They’re like Oysters Rockefeller, but in all different varieties. For instance, you can get Jalapeno, Casino, Mexican, etc. I sampled them all. Excellent!

Of course, they feature all the seafood dishes you would expect, with a big treat being the frog legs.

My favorite thing on the menu was the nachos, though. They’re good enough to make a tear come to Ol’ Coach’s eye. And Chely picked up an order of Dusty’s Seafood Nachos for the ride home.

She came back to pick me up way faster than I wanted her to. I hadn’t even had time to sample everything on the menu, much less dessert. She says she’ll take me back to Dusty’s Oyster Bar the next time she goes to the Sunshine State, and I can’t wait.

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