Best Picture? Not Ellen’s Selfie

selfie2We found out on Tuesday that Ellen DeGeneres’ celebrity selfie at the Oscars was a sham. What appeared to be spontaneous and funny was in reality a multi-million dollar product placement for a Samsung phone. Samsung bought $18 million in advertising from ABC, and that apparently gave them license to pull a subliminal trick on us.

I consider myself pretty savvy when it comes to things like this. But I fell for it hook, line and sinker. So you got me ABC and Samsung. Good for you. I’ll get over it. And using Ellen to pull it off? Nice touch.

(I hope she got more than a phone for doing it, because in my opinion, she tweeted away some of her credibility.)

My question is, why stop there? Let’s take this product placement thing to an even lower level.

ABC could sell sponsorships for the awards, too. I can’t wait to see who wins “Domino’s Pizza Best Picture” or “The Buick Best Long Form Documentary.”

Next year, instead of mispronouncing Idina Menzel’s name, John Travolta could get up there and introduce the entertainer as “Progressive Insurance.” It wouldn’t matter who he was introducing because 90% of us wouldn’t know who it is anyway. Come on, nobody knew who Idina Menzel was. We may soon find out she is really George Stephanopoulos  who dressed in drag to promote a Good Morning America segment on cross dressing, sponsored by Hidden Valley Ranch.

The winners need to get paid too, right? Maybe Meryl Streep could accept an award this way: “I want to thank the Academy, Ford, the fans, Coca-Cola, mama, George Lucas, and most importantly, Subway. Eat Fresh.” And the hook music could be the little McDonald’s “I’m Lovin’ it” jingle.

And the musical entertainment could be that dweeb that does those Free Credit Report dot com songs.

But why limit it to the Oscars? Maybe the news division could get in on the act: “This is World News Tonight. I’m Diane Sawyer, I suffer from psoriatic arthritis, and my doctor recommended Enbrel. Tonight’s lead story: the Huggies Ukrainian crisis.”

So the next time you turn on your TV and a dozen of the world’s most glamorous stars are posing for a photo, beware. One of them may be mouthing, “Have you driven a Ford lately?”

About Barry Currin

Barry tries to be funny and poignant, and he's usually satisfied when he succeeds with one or the other. (Being both is awesome. And sometimes that happens.) Email him: currin01@gmail.com

Comments

  1. tanna c.davis says:

    I think this is your best one yet !!!!! Please …oh please …..You need to do something monthly and let businesses sponsor it…Barry …we need a “Mint Magazine” with humor …
    P.S. I canceled my ‘Free Press’ yesterday…Tired of getting nothing out of it but my horoscope and what street the “pokey’ drove by or checked on the night before !!! LOL
    OK..I’ll shut-up !!!

  2. Tanna, you should sign on to be my agent. I’m sure sponsors would pay tens of dollars to be on this gravy train!!

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