Save a Seat for Faith and Tim

Upon hearing my accent, no one will mistake me for a New Yorker. While I don’t apologize for that, I do make a point to use good grammar especially when I’m speaking with people who ain’t from ’round here. In those same situations, I also try to keep my mouth shut when I can’t add to the conversation. It’s not a vanity thing. It’s just me trying to help dispel a Southern stereotype or two when I can.

honey boo boo 1

No relation. I’m positive.

I have a need to do my part to prove we’re not all related to the Honey Boo Boo family. (I’m fairly sure they have a real last name, but I refuse to google it.) Thanks a lot, Georgia. But I digress.

So let me set the scene for you: Radio City Music Hall, Midtown Manhattan on Christmas Eve morning. We were sitting there waiting for the Rockettes’ Christmas Extravaganza to start when this retirement-age couple sat down next to us. As soon as I heard her talking, I knew she didn’t make too long of a commute to get there. She sounded a little like Carrie on King of Queens.

Radio City Music Hall, second row.

Radio City Music Hall, second row. I can’t wait to tell Faith Hill about these seats!

She struck a conversation with us. They were from New Jersey. We talked about when and where we got our tickets, and how much we paid for them. I found out quickly that I got the special “tourist rate” on the ticket price, but who cares. It’s Christmas, after all; and we were on the second row. Soon, she couldn’t resist; and she asked me the question I’ve heard 5,000 times:

“Where are you from?”


And then right-smack-dab in the middle of of Radio City Music Hall she honestly asked me:

“Do you ever see Faith Hill?”

I didn’t miss a beat.

“No, but she and Tim live in Franklin there on Highway 96 next door to Kenny Chesney. We’ve driven by their house.”

At that point I’m pretty sure she pictured me driving a Bondo’d ’82 Camaro, belting out “Mama Tried” to my Merle Haggard 8-track, blowing the horn at Faith who was Weedeating her ditch while Tim and Kenny sat on a couch on the front porch swigging PBRs and smacking ‘skeeters.

I wanted to ask her if she ever saw Snooki, but I saved that one just in case she asked me if I ever saw Honey Boo Boo. After all, turnabout is fair play. And I’m certain people from New Jersey know that.

About Barry Currin

Barry tries to be funny and poignant, and he's usually satisfied when he succeeds with one or the other. (Being both is awesome. And sometimes that happens.) Email him:

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