Insomnia? It Beats Being Neutered

barks between beagles, beaverdamusa.com“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“What do you mean you can’t sleep? You sleep 23 hours a day.”

“Are you talking to me right now?”

“Yes.”

“And, am I talking back?”

“Yes.”

“So, am I asleep?”

“No.”

“Then, that means I can’t sleep!”

“All right, all right. You are a bit cranky. What do you usually do to try and go to sleep?”

“Lots of times I imagine myself napping under a tree where there are no squirrels, no falling leaves, no birds, no butterflies, no fire truck sirens, no sounds at all to annoy me. There is a gentle breeze, but it doesn’t make anything move.”

“That’s nice. Why isn’t it working this time?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I can’t get my mind off all my problems.”

“Oh, for goodness sake. What problems do you have?”

“Well for one, I’m getting older. Everything hurts. If I do sleep too long in the same position it takes me half the day to work out the stiffness. I break out in a sweat when I bark. And if it weren’t for fleas, no creature on earth would be attracted to me.”

“I’m attracted to you.”

“You’re my sister. You don’t have any choice. You know what I mean. You know Rocco from boarding?”

“Yeah.”

The last time we were there, I used my best moves and he didn’t even look at me.”

“Maybe that’s because Rocco’s been recently neutered.”

“No!”

“Yes, I am serious. Rocco is now Rocco Nomo’.”

“Hey, what was that?!”

“Nothing. I think a squirrel just dropped a nut.”

“In memory of Rocco?”

“You’re incorrigible. Go to sleep.”

“That was a good one, though.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

About Ginger & MaryAnn

Ginger and MaryAnn are two sister-beagles of a certain age who blog each Tuesday about their life. Mostly, they eat, sleep and blog. Occasionally, they're tormented by MacGyver, a good-for-nothing alley cat. They're dogs, after all, so their attention spans are...

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