How to: Justify How Lazy You Were This Winter

katherine holmgren, beaverdamusa.comI don’t normally research anything for this blog (because I want my words to speak for themselves) but today I’m going to throw some outside knowledge at you: Nashville gets an average of 123 hours of sunshine in January and 308 hours in June.

I’m no mathematician, but according to the formula for percentage increase I found on a middle school math help website (www.mathgoodies.com), that’s a 150% increase in sunlight hours. A HUNDRED AND FIFTY PERCENT, YOU GUYS. 123 HOURS IN A MONTH THAT HAS 31 DAYS TO 308 HOURS IN A MONTH THAT HAS 30 DAYS.

This is blatant confirmation that my body contains no Vitamin D whatsoever coming off this bleak winter. No wonder I’ve been scowling at children and openly laughing at the idea that love and happiness exist. I never stood a chance!

What I’m trying to say here is that the winter laziness you championed in January and February was not your fault. You had 185 hours of daylight darkness to deal with in January alone and you did your best. Sure, maybe you leaned a little too heavily on your Netflix and Goldfish Cracker addictions but what else were you supposed to do? And yeah, sunlight shouldn’t necessarily affect how often you shower or do laundry, but people need to know you at your worst so they can appreciate you at your best, right? It’s hard to care about anything when the sun starts setting at 2:30pm.

Thank goodness for March and the precious halfway point it marks between depression and 308 hours of June happiness. I went for a long walk in the sun on Sunday afternoon and felt the first ray of hope enter my bloodstream since before The Great October Sinus Infection, Charlie Brown . I daydreamed out of my office window on Monday until my eyes burned from the precious light bouncing off cars, making me think I had gone blind.

I’ve been watching the new Tina Fey show on Netflix, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (which I believe is also a credible source of Vitamin D), and I feel myself beginning to change, you guys. I’m smiling more. I’m noticing the dust and small piles of laundry I’ve let seep into my bedroom. Today I wore a dress to work! Tomorrow I might plan and execute my grocery shopping ahead of time for the rest of the week!  Sometime soon I might actually take time to find a dentist in Nashville and schedule a cleaning! Big things are happening! Spring is coming!

About Katherine Holmgren

Katherine Holmgren grew up in the metropolitan jungles of Kansas so she's street smart and deeply Midwestern. She moved to Nashville in 2008 and currently spends her time working at a desk by day and playing music by night. When she's procrastinating on the work she is supposed to be doing, Katherine enjoys eating at Chipotle, reminding people about her Swedish heritage, and assuring Netflix that yes, she is still watching. Play on.

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