Of course, this correction by the world’s most famous restaurant chain was most certainly a response to my blog (reprinted entirely below) about how McDonald’s broke my heart by discontinuing the nectar of the gods in the first place. I went to the company’s web site to scour for a press release or a statement thanking me for showing them the error of their ways, but I haven’t found it yet. I will keep looking. In the meantime, your thanks is all I need. You’re welcome.
Original blog, published April 25, 2014:
Restaurants hate me.
Remember Darryl’s, the place with the ridiculous decor, including a bus inside? I loved going there, so of course they all closed. (I googled and found what looks to be one in Greensboro, N.C. Leave a comment if you know for sure.) But Darryl’s isn’t alone in breaking my heart. I also loved Roy Pepper’s Porch in Chattanooga, Tenn. Roy Pepper’s cooked their bread in little clay flower pots. RIP, Roy Pepper’s and your delectable bread. I hope I wasn’t entirely to blame.
Then there are the places that take my favorite thing off the menu — I guess just for the fun of it. Ruby Tuesday changes their menu more often than the front page of a newspaper. Long, long gone are the Tuestada and the Steak Teriyaki. My favorite restaurant is the Copper Cellar on Cumberland Ave., in Knoxville, Tenn. They used to serve bone-in prime rib on pewter plates. Then they stopped serving it bone-in about the time they changed from pewter to regular plates. Blasphemy.
And now, my favorite fast food place has done the unthinkable. McDonald’s — the last bastion of hyper-caloric menu consistency — has discontinued Hot Mustard sauce for their Chicken McNuggets.
This is the sauce I first discovered as a freshman in college when we would make runs after 11 p.m. This is the sauce I have eaten on every single McNugget for 30 years. This is the sauce that made me ignore what people said McNuggets are really made of. It didn’t matter! It only mattered that I could drench them in what was the perfect condiment. How, McDonald’s, do you justify discontinuing the perfect condiment and replacing it with jalapeno ranch sauce? Why don’t you just replace the Quarter Pounder with the McLiver while you’re at it.
I don’t really know how a McNugget even tastes. I don’t really even need them. I just need Hot Mustard sauce back so I can stop sounding like a heroin addict. When the person at the counter would ask how many McNuggets, I always wanted to say, “Well, it depends on how many Hot Mustards you’re going to give me.”
It’s not just me. More than 6,600 fans have signed the “Bring back hot mustard to all restaurants” petition on change.org. Here are some of the comments:
- Patrick Freeman of Ferndale, Mich., writes: “My fellow Americans, if we allow them to remove our mustard rights today, what’s next, the boot shaped nugget, the Big Mac ‘Special Sauce’”?
- Seth Rosellini of Fairfield, Cal., says: “I don’t even want to eat chicken nuggets anymore, and it’s very irritating and disappointing.”
- Greg Reid of Norfolk, Va., says: “Hot Mustard is the only sauce I use. I’ve been eating it since the early 80′s.”
Be strong, Patrick, Seth, Greg and everyone affected by this. We shall overcome. But we will never forget. And we’re sure not lovin’ it.