McDonald’s Brings Back Hot Mustard; You’re Welcome

dam thoughts, barry currin, beaverdamusa.comHot Mustard is back at McDonald’s. At least it was yesterday.

Of course, this correction by the world’s most famous restaurant chain was most certainly a response to my blog (reprinted entirely below) about how McDonald’s broke my heart by discontinuing the nectar of the gods in the first place. I went to the company’s web site to scour for a press release or a statement thanking me for showing them the error of their ways, but I haven’t found it yet. I will keep looking. In the meantime, your thanks is all I need. You’re welcome.

Original blog, published April 25, 2014:

Restaurants hate me.

Remember Darryl’s, the place with the ridiculous decor, including a bus inside? I loved going there, so of course they all closed. (I googled and found what looks to be one in Greensboro, N.C. Leave a comment if you know for sure.) But Darryl’s isn’t alone in breaking my heart. I also loved Roy Pepper’s Porch in Chattanooga, Tenn. Roy Pepper’s cooked their bread in little clay flower pots. RIP, Roy Pepper’s and your delectable bread. I hope I wasn’t entirely to blame.

Then there are the places that take my favorite thing off the menu — I guess just for the fun of it. Ruby Tuesday changes their menu more often than the front page of a newspaper. Long, long gone are the Tuestada and the Steak Teriyaki. My favorite restaurant is the Copper Cellar on Cumberland Ave., in Knoxville, Tenn. They used to serve bone-in prime rib on pewter plates. Then they stopped serving it bone-in about the time they changed from pewter to regular plates. Blasphemy.

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And now, my favorite fast food place has done the unthinkable. McDonald’s — the last bastion of hyper-caloric menu consistency — has discontinued Hot Mustard sauce for their Chicken McNuggets.

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This is the sauce I first discovered as a freshman in college when we would make runs after 11 p.m. This is the sauce I have eaten on every single McNugget for 30 years. This is the sauce that made me ignore what people said McNuggets are really made of. It didn’t matter! It only mattered that I could drench them in what was the perfect condiment. How, McDonald’s, do you justify discontinuing the perfect condiment and replacing it with jalapeno ranch sauce? Why don’t you just replace the Quarter Pounder with the McLiver while you’re at it.

I don’t really know how a McNugget even tastes. I don’t really even need them. I just need Hot Mustard sauce back so I can stop sounding like a heroin addict. When the person at the counter would ask how many McNuggets, I always wanted to say, “Well, it depends on how many Hot Mustards you’re going to give me.”

It’s not just me. More than 6,600 fans have signed the “Bring back hot mustard to all restaurants” petition on change.org. Here are some of the comments:

  • Patrick Freeman of Ferndale, Mich., writes: “My fellow Americans, if we allow them to remove our mustard rights today, what’s next, the boot shaped nugget, the Big Mac ‘Special Sauce’”?
  • Seth Rosellini of Fairfield, Cal., says: “I don’t even want to eat chicken nuggets anymore, and it’s very irritating and disappointing.”
  • Greg Reid of Norfolk, Va., says: “Hot Mustard is the only sauce I use. I’ve been eating it since the early 80′s.”

Be strong, Patrick, Seth, Greg and everyone affected by this. We shall overcome. But we will never forget. And we’re sure not lovin’ it.

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About Barry Currin

Barry tries to be funny and poignant, and he's usually satisfied when he succeeds with one or the other. (Being both is awesome. And sometimes that happens.) Email him: currin01@gmail.com

Comments

  1. There is, indeed, a Darryl’s in Greensboro My friend is a manager there.

    I am THRILLED that hot mustard is back!

    • Let’s talk about Darryl’s first. Is there a bus in there? Do they still have the cajun shrimp? And, do they still have the fried mozzarella triangles? All these questions determine how quickly I will go to Greensboro.

      Yes, how could McDonald’s ever discontinue hot mustard in the first place? The focus group must have been made up of Wendy, the Burger King dude and that weird Jack in the Box guy.

      Thanks for reading!

  2. please watch my “bring back hot mustard” video on you tube, just search bring back hot mustard. thank you. keep fighting the good fight

    • lindsey says:

      I was given hot mustard today (May 15, 2015) in Clinton, TN. North of Knoxville. I wouldn’t have mentioned hot mustard except the cashier was so shocked I didn’t want any sauce.

  3. No hot mustard says:

    There’s no hot mustard where I live. I’m NOT lovin’ it, either! Where’s the mustard?

  4. Most of CT does not seem to have hot mustard still. However, I ate at the McDonalds in Trumbull, CT on November 7th, 2017. I asked the cashier if hot mustard was available and she gave me 5 containers of it with my 20 piece nuggets. I usually don’t order McNuggets any more because most McDonalds in CT no longer have hot mustard.

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