Have You Seen the Scissors?

“What are you doing?”

“Looking for the scissors.”

“They’re right there.”

“Where?”

“Under your leg.”

“Where?”

“Other leg.”

“Where?”

“Other leg.”

“Where?”

“Take a wild guess. How many legs have you not looked under?”

“Oh, thanks.”

“Why don’t you use gift bags?”

“That’s cheating.”

“No it’s not. At least I didn’t just then look like a dog chasing its tail looking for the scissors.”

“I hate that expression.”

“Me, too.”

“I wonder why there are so many expressions about dogs — three dog night… dog days of summer… it’s a dog’s life.”

“Dog tired.”

“Yeah. I’m dog tired of losing stuff. Have you seen the tape?”

“Yeah, it’s under your leg.”

“Where?”

“Other leg.”

“Where?”

“Seriously?”

“Oh, thanks.”

“Can I open my presents when you finish wrapping them?”

“Are you kidding? After I go to all this trouble, you just want to rip them open? Tear them to shreds?”

“I’ll let you have yours.”

“We’ll talk. Have you seen the To/From tags?”