Are You ‘So Chill’ or not So Much? Take the Quiz

dam thoughts, barry currin, beaverdamusa.comDo you remember when people first started saying “chill out” to mean calm down? If you do, you may struggle with this quiz because that is so yesterday. Now, “chill” is synonymous with “cool.” Used in a sentence: I love Beyonce. She is so chill. I’m not going to prolong this any longer. Find out if you are so chill or not.

1. Solange is:

  • A. The new 5-passenger crossover from Hyundai, which is said to get 35 mpg in town and 42 mpg on the highway.
  • B. A chewable over-the-counter allergy tablet from the makers of Claritin. (Ask your doctor if Solange is right for you.)
  • C. Beyonce’s sister, who allegedly got into a fight with Jay Z in an elevator.
  • D. A county in Ohio, known as the birthplace of envelopes, and for the regionally-famous Solange Beet.

If you answered C, give yourself 5 points. Take away a point if you’ve never heard of Beyonce. Give yourself 10 points and email me if you work for Hyundai in the New Car Naming Department, because me and you got a hit on our hands.

2. Michael Sam is:

  • A. The first openly-gay football player drafted in the NFL.
  • B. The hotel employee who leaked the video of Jay Z and Solange.
  • C. Founder of Sam’s Club.
  • D. The co-host of Live With Kelly and Michael.

If you answered A, give yourself 5 points. Take away a point if you said C, because… just because. Give yourself 10 points if you’ve ever released a video of celebrities allegedly fighting in an elevator.

3. Which celebrity is retiring after a 53-year career in TV.

  • A. The Kardashian family.
  • B. Michael Sam, co-host of Live With Kelly and Michael.
  • C. George Stephanopolos.
  • D. Barbara Walters

If you answered D, give yourself 5 points. If you answered A, also give yourself 5 points, because it means you still have hope. Give yourself 10 points if you can spell Stephanopolos or know anyone who can.

4. Which troubled teen entertainer was accused this week of attempted robbery of a cell phone.

  • A. Justin Bieber
  • B. Justin Bieber
  • C. Justin Bieber
  • D. All of the Above

If you answered D, you get 5 points. If you are still reading this, you get 1,000,000 points. You know, coming up with something original each week is hard. I didn’t think I could do worse than last week’s, but it looks like I have. (Do you remember the way Johnny Carson was most hilarious when one of his jokes flopped? That’s what I’m trying to do here.) I don’t know what I’m going to write about next week, but I promise no gratuitous Kardashian jokes unless they do something. Yeah, like that’s going to happen. Oops, I did it again.

5. Who recorded the song “Oops, I Did it Again?”

  • A. Miley Cyrus
  • B. Justin Bieber
  • C. Britney Spears
  • D. Solange

This is an oldie, recorded by none other than the old queen of pop and AARP spokesperson-to-be Britney. You lose your 1,000,000 bonus points if you missed this one.

Bonus Question! Which celebrity went missing but was found this week?

If you answered Casey Kasem, give yourself 5 points. If you thought Casey was already dead, take away 1. If you get Casey Kasem and Dick Clark confused, you get no points, but you’re certainly not the first. Same for Ryan Seacrest, only a little weirder.

So are you so chill or so, uh, un-chill? Hopefully you did well. Until next week, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars. Casey Kasem used to say that. He was so chill.

About Barry Currin

Barry tries to be funny and poignant, and he's usually satisfied when he succeeds with one or the other. (Being both is awesome. And sometimes that happens.) Email him:

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