The Stock Market for Beagles

barks between beagles, beaverdamusa.com“Come on, Apple. Come on, baby. Yeah! Up 40 more points!”

“What on earth are you doing?”

“Just watching my portfolio grow.”

“What portfolio?”

“My investment portfolio. Right now, I’m watching my Apple stock soar. I’m feeling quite bullish today.”

“Yeah, bull is the first half of the word I would use to describe you. What on earth do you know about investments?”

“I subscribe to this daily email newsletter. It tells me every move Warren Buffett is going to make before he makes it. I just do what the newsletter tells me, and ‘bam!’ I’m getting rich!”

“Oh, is that so? So what stocks do you have besides Apple?”

“Oh, plenty. I’m heavy in the tech sector, but I still love the blue chips; and that helps reduce my exposure to volatility.”

“What are you going to do when the the Dow suddenly drops 1,000 points?”

“Well, I’m glad you asked, Miss Smarty Pants. I have a healthy amount in the bond market. You know, when stocks fall, bonds go up.”

“You have it all figured out, don’t you?”

“I’m doing okay.”

“I just have one more question for –”

“–Wait a minute, wait a minute… Yep! another thousand dollars!… Now, what is your question. Hurry up before I hire an assistant to reduce my interruptions.”

“Well, my question is a good one.”

“Is that so?”

“One that I think you’re not going to want to hear.”

“Let ‘er rip, rookie. Surely you won’t mind if I count some of these Benjamins while you’re talking, though.”

“Where did you get the money you’re investing?”

“What?”

“The money you used to buy all those stocks and bonds. Where did you get it?”

“You have to invest money? But it says right here my stocks are going up!”

“You’re just watching stocks go up. You don’t own anything.”

“Get out of my way.”

“What are you doing?”

“Climbing on top of the doghouse. I’m gonna jump off. That’s what people do when the stock market crashes and they become paupers instantly.”

“While you’re up there, give it a couple of barks and see if you can’t scare up somebody to bring us some food.”

“Yeah, this investing does make you hungry.”

 

About Ginger & MaryAnn

Ginger and MaryAnn are two sister-beagles of a certain age who blog each Tuesday about their life. Mostly, they eat, sleep and blog. Occasionally, they're tormented by MacGyver, a good-for-nothing alley cat. They're dogs, after all, so their attention spans are...

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