Is Pollen the Problem, or is it his Girl?

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Cody writes: Dear Chely, I have a terrible, terrible problem and I don’t know where else to turn. You see, all this pollen is getting my truck dirty, and my girlfriend says she won’t go out with me unless my truck is clean. She says she doesn’t want to be seen in a big yellow truck. I wash it every day to make her happy. What should I do?

Dear Cody: My, my, my you do have a problem, but it’s not pollen or your dirty truck. It’s your girlfriend! How in the world could you let yourself get mixed up with someone so superficial as a girl who refuses to go out with you unless your truck is clean. Let me guess: you’re probably tall and fit, maybe you play on the football team. I’m sure you’re nice looking, too. Well let me tell you something. Looks change over the years. If she won’t go out with you in your dirty truck, how fast do you think she’ll dump you when you get hair growing in strange places, or those size 32 Levi’s don’t fit as nicely as they do now. Do yourself a favor. Get rid of her, and write “I’m Free” in the pollen on your truck hood. (Follow Chely on Twitter.)

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