Chely finds herself duct taped to a chair but still manages to talk about Bama-Georgia. Meanwhile, Coach Billy Jack and Professor Sinclair unanimously give this week’s “What Were You Thinking” award to Butch Jones following the Florida game and talk about Tennessee’s upcoming game with Arkansas.
SEC football is what makes life worth living for most of us. And recently, some of you slackers have gotten so serious about it that it’s not fun anymore. If your team doesn’t win the National Championship, you’re ready to tar and feather the head guy and go after another coach (who hasn’t won a NC where ever he is either, most likely.)
So today, let’s have a little fun. You don’t have to tell your twitter buddies (who also think you should fire your coach) that you read it. Just make sure to erase it from your browser history.
I’ve always thought that Nick Saban looks like Papa John. Of course, Nick has a few years on Papa, but I still stand by the comparison. So Papa says, “Better ingredients, better pizza. Papa John’s.” I submit that Nick could say “Better recruits, better team, Coach Nick’s.” Has a ring to it. Don’t you think? Their shirts even match, almost.
Do you think Butch Jones tells his Tennessee players to “FALL IN!” the way Sgt. Carter used to do it on the Gomer Pyle show? I’m sure he does not, but that doesn’t mean that he cannot look like the late Vince Sutton, who played Pyle’s crotchety superior. Maybe Jones could make Vol quarterback Justin Worley put a bucket over his head and sit on a stool until he figures out how to hit open receivers. If you’re too young to remember Gomer Pyle, you missed some funny television. (Tyler Bray went pro a year early for a reason, Vol fans. Shazam! Butch would’ve killed him.)
Mark Richt and Rob Lowe. I’ll admit this is a stretch. In my mind I imagined a photo of “Risky Business”-era Rob alongside Richt both with their cool-breeze Ray Bans on. But all Rob’s Ray Ban pictures are from years ago, and Mark just doesn’t have the hair to pull it off.
Finally, I couldn’t resist comparing Hugh Freeze to Mr. Freeze, just on name alone. Freeze is the coolest last name on the planet. But when I ran across these pictures of Hugh and the Batman villain, they actually do favor a bit, except that Mr. Freeze is gray. I don’t have anything real funny to say about this. I think it speaks for itself. Aight, slackers, you’ve had your fun for the day, now go out there and tweet ’til your team fires that bum of a coach of yours.
- Georgia will not be denied another shot at ‘Bama in the SEC Championship game, and they know they have to pretty much run the table to get the opportunity. And that’s exactly what they will do. With Aaron Murray pulling the trigger and sophomore Todd Gurley steamrolling the ball downhill, look for Uga to be smiling until December.
- A Steve Spurrier team always has more answers than questions. They’re ranked #6 pre-season, but I’m concerned about Connor Shaw behind center. He’s talented, but Steve can push a QB a bit hard sometimes. And coming from me, that’s a statement! On the other side of the ball, though, Jadeveon Clowney & Co., are going to cause misery every Saturday. Not much is going to get past the Gamecock defense.
- The Florida Gators took everybody by surprise last year posting a 7-1 conference record. This year, though they will begin the season with QB Jeff Driskel as their most accomplished rusher. That’s a scary thought – especially without a proven backup. Tailback Matt Jones continues to recover from a viral infection, and Mike Gillislee is gone. The other backs are unproven. On defense, the early NFL departure of 3 Gator starters didn’t help things either.
- Question: Who’s the most popular coach never to win a game? Answer: New Tennessee coach Butch Jones. The folks on Rocky Top are ecstatic about having someone to make them forget the Kiffin-Dooley one-two punch. The talent simply isn’t there for the Vols yet, but look for them to win the ones they should, plus one they shouldn’t.
- The biggest question to Vanderbilt’s season right now is how their horrific off-season problems will affect their performance on the field. Just this past week, receiver Chris Boyd was charged as an accessory after the fact in the alleged rape of an unconscious female Vandy student. It will be interesting to see how James Franklin handles the situation, especially as long as police say the investigation is continuing. And let’s make sure and remember the alleged victim here, as her life was changed forever.
- Missouri isn’t ready to compete yet.
- Kentucky made a great hire in Mark Stoops, but the talent isn’t there. But it’s coming. Guaranteed.