The Christmas List

barks between beagles, beaverdamusa.com“What are you doing?”

“Working on my Christmas list.”

“Oh, this should be good. What’s on it so far.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What?”

“You said, ‘Oh, this should be good.’ Are you implying my Christmas gift list will be silly or superficial?”

“Well, you’re silly and superficial, so yeah, that’s pretty much what I meant.”

“Okay, well prepare to be surprised. The first thing I want is this can opener.”

“Why do you need a can opener?”

“It has no exposed blade and leaves no sharp edges.”

“Again, what do you need with a can opener.”

“I am trying to choose between olive, eggplant and aquamarine.”

“We don’t open cans.”

“But they’re selling like hotcakes.”

“But we don’t open cans, bottles, jars, jugs. You don’t need a can opener.”

“Okay, well if you must know, I already ordered you a can of Alpo for Christmas, and after I did it, I realized I don’t have any way to open it!”

“You mean you put a gift on your list that would help me enjoy a gift I got?”

“Yes.”

“I think I’m gonna cry. You do have the Christmas spirit, sister.”

“Well, you know.”

“You want to hear the bad news?”

“Alpo has a pull thingy on the can. You don’t need a can opener, anyway.”

“I’m definitely going with the aquamarine.”

“You never listen.”

“What?”

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