How to: Celebrate Independence

katherine holmgren, beaverdamusa.comWhat did one flag say to the other flag? Nothing. It just waved!

Happy 239th Birthday, America! You don’t look a day over 200. Just kidding. You’re starting to look terrible and nobody recycles anything.

Here are five America-themed activity ideas you can do with your family this year:

  1. Check and see if your ancestors were even in America in 1776. Has your family contributed anything? Or are you just reaping the benefits from someone else’s work? It’s okay either way. #America

  2. Turn on your television and have everyone sit around and watch without speaking for no less than four hours. Make sure everyone is also on their phones. Mindlessly eat some sort of chip/dip combo.

  3. Speaking of food, try to only eat food that comes out of a box with printed microwave instructions on the side. Pair this with lots of soda and energy drinks. Eat a ½ cup of sugar to make sure you get enough for the day.

  4. Go around the room and have everyone say who they will be voting for in the next election. Winner is the person who grimaces the least.

  5. Eat another ½ cup of sugar.

Happy 4th of July!!

What dance was very popular in 1776? Indepen-dance!

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