The Super Bowl in 5 sentences

The Super Bowl is the biggest spectacle in American sports. Heck, it’s probably the biggest dang spectacle in America, period. It’s kind of a shame that the entire production from start to finish can be summed up in 5 sentences, but I’m gonna do it. I’ll run bleachers until dark if I can’t. Here goes:

Super Bowl XLVII
in 5 Sentences

Baltimore made it look easy in the first half. Beyonce is hot. Bar Refaeli kissed a Slacker. The lights went out for 30 minutes. San Francisco decided to make it interesting before losing 34-31 following the worst no-call in sports history.

You might notice that only 2 of the 5 sentences actually mentioned football. That’s because most of the hype before, during and after has to do with the things that happen between plays. It’s kind of a shame, but even an old hard-nosed coach like me can appreciate a diversion now and then. Take Chely Sizemore for instance. She is one fine diversion down there at The Beaver Dam Roadside Tavern.

Follow @chelysizemore on twitter.

And Beyonce, when you read this, you are entitled to anything in The Beaver Dam Roadside Tavern store for half price. Just visit http://www.beaverdamusa.com/swag/.

Until next time,
Give Me 20, Slackers!
Coach Billy Jack Hoover
@coachbillyj

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