Why Are We Still Even Working for the Weekend?

barry currin, stories of a world gone mad, beaverdamusa.comWe’re becoming delicate in the way we approach life.

Last week before we ushered in Daylight Saving Time, I saw two or three stories about how we could lessen the blow of losing an hour of sleep on Saturday night. One article promised five ways to help ease into the transition.

About the same time, a TV talk show host said her family sets their clocks forward one night early. I guess that gives them a practice day on Saturday.

I don’t love losing the hour either, but for Heaven’s sake, just do it. Be a grown-up. Yank off the Band-Aid.

I’m not sure why we covet the weekends so much anymore anyway.

Consider this.

The calendar year has 365 days. Lop off the weekends, and right off the bat, we’re down to 260 weekdays. While we’re at it, let’s just take away Mondays altogether. The only things anyone accomplishes on Mondays are solving problems that manifested themselves over the weekend and covering for the people who called in sick to avoid those problems.

With Mondays gone, that leaves us with around 200 prime work days.

Oh, but wait. Nobody works on Fridays anymore, so we can chop off another 52, leaving us with about 150 days to accomplish something.

I know what you’re thinking.

“My holidays! I need my holidays!”

After whacking 11 Federal holidays, plus a buffer day for each one, we have a grand total of 128 days remaining.

Take away two weeks’ vacation, and we have 114.

Since the holiday season now kicks off on Nov. 1 and lasts through New Year’s, we might as well forget about November and December. We are either on vacation or, if we are at work, we’re hovering over a tri-flavor popcorn tin in the break room. Nothing gets done.

That takes us to 53 days.

Enter the weather. A snow day used to mean it was unsafe to travel because frozen precipitation covered our roads. Now, we take a snow day when frozen precipitation covers anybody’s roads. Where was “snowed in by association” when I was in elementary school?

Take off six days for that, and a few more for the days when snow was in the forecast but only ended up dusting the higher elevations. We wouldn’t have been any good at work anyway, because we already had our day at home planned. Hopefully, we kept the receipt for that sled.

After all that rest in February, we should not need a spring break, but we’ll take one anyway.

If you’re keeping score at home, we’re down to about 30 days.

Don’t forget a couple of appointments with Dr. All Day, the road trip to the Luke Bryan concert, the day after the Luke Bryan concert, jury duty, the day when the alarm clock didn’t go off, a stomach bug or two, a dead battery and a flat tire.

Say hello to the 10-day work year, ladies and gentlemen.

Wait a minute. Happy birthday.

Nine.

Sick kid.

Five.

Out of town for business.

One.

One stinking day.

I’m a big believer in momentum. I truly believe the more we get done, the more we can continue to accomplish – like a snowball rolling down hill. When you think about it, if we only have one day to get anything done, we might as well stay home then, too.

Besides, that snowball might just be rolling toward the office. Better to be safe than sorry.

See you next year.

About Barry Currin

Barry tries to be funny and poignant, and he's usually satisfied when he succeeds with one or the other. (Being both is awesome. And sometimes that happens.) Email him: currin01@gmail.com

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